You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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