Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
