Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
