she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
