My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
