If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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