Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
