i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
