Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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