i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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