My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize