Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
