we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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