By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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