so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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