White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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