Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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