In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How does it feel to date your dad?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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