You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
