That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
