I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
