she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize