hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
