She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
