After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
