I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
