Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
