some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?