he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
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it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
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I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.