I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
