you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
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yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
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A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.