just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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