Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
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There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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