Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
