1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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