guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize