when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
