so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
