I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
