Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
