I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Sorry about my life...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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