Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
