lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
