It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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