About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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