the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
