I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
