I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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