So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
