U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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