There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
