Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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