I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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