Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
