I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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