I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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