He is an equal opportunity slut.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
