Will you blow on my dice?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
