From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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