I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
